Trying to find that perfect gift for grandpa can certainly be a difficult task. Your grandfather has seen it all, he has tried everything and he is past the age of following his youthful activities. Still, the old man has a life and one that can certainly be enriched by one of the following gift ideas that I have listed for you. Go ahead and make an old man happy. God knows he’s been grumpy for too long!

1. hearing aid — That’s right, Grandpa hasn’t been able to listen much lately and what he hears changes him. Give him the gift that he keeps listening and he will be very grateful. Opt for the trendy model that sticks out of the ear canal and comes in your choice of exhilarating colors: Radical Red, Bionic Blue, Bright Green, or Psychedelic Orange.

2.Viagra — Grandma has been looking pretty sad these past few years. Get Gramps Viagra and let them have their alone time. Lots of Viagra, if you can afford it!

3. Football tickets — Who doesn’t like soccer? Okay, not grandma. So why don’t you buy Gramps a couple of tickets and take him to the big game? After going through all that Viagra, Grandma will be glad you took the frisky guy. outside of her for a while. She needs to rest and now it looks like she was run over by a reindeer. Don’t sit too close to the cheerleaders…

4. The Three Stooges — Very little seems to amuse Gramps lately except for slapstick comedy, particularly The Three Stooges. Spring for the entire 26-volume DVD set of the The best of The Three Stooges to keep you entertained all winter long. Shop on eBay at the best prices too!

5. Headers — What what?! Yeah, buy his favorite auto parts like a DC Sports header, K&N cold air intake, JetChips performance chip, floor mats and cargo liners, etc. for his 1999 Ford F-250. You know he plans to give you the truck next year anyway, so why not outfit it the way you want it to look? now instead of waiting until later? Your gift to him will soon become your gift to yourself. It underlines what Christmas has become for so many; then come in that Cheer up today!

Just remember that it’s the thought that counts. The more thoughtless you are, the more transparent you will be perceived. At least you will live up to the expectations that no one has of you and, therefore, you will not be able to disappoint anyone.

Somehow, I don’t think this is really what Christmas is all about… Merry Christmas, Grandpa!