It’s not the men in your life that count. It’s the life in your men.’ When actress Mae West made that comment, she intended it to be a blatant innuendo, designed to elicit a laugh.

Men’s mental health has become an area of ​​growing concern, with 3/4 deaths among men under 50 in the UK recorded as suicides (4,903 in 2018) and male suicides in England and Wales at their highest level. high in twenty years. 1/8 of men are diagnosed with a common mental health problem, but only 36% of referrals for psychological support are for men.

Many men still find it important to be the breadwinner, protector, provider, and often measure success in terms of income, possessions, and status. Even hobbies and interests can have a competitive advantage for them, where being the fastest, fittest, and strongest brings with it the admiration and respect of others in your group.

His early male role models may well have been strong, silent guys, who were taught to ‘be a man’, not be ‘a girl’ and ‘be a man’ in times of stress or difficulty. It is preferable to keep silent instead of sharing any problem or problem with family, partner or friends.

Even today, the archetypal male is regularly portrayed as fit and athletic, slim and good looking, driven, successful, focused, consistent, motivated. However, we also want our men to be in touch with his feelings, to be able to communicate his emotional challenges, and to have a gentle side, things that not all men feel capable of doing.

Therefore, times of worry can result in feeling stressed, isolated, and ill-equipped. Exposing doubts and fears can risk appearing vulnerable and out of control. But holding back can still seem hostile, reluctant, or distant.

Ambition is seen as a positive trait in a man, promotion and progression are often seen as natural and desirable. But not everyone wants to be a high achiever or pursue the next level of success. They may have other interests and goals that inspire and motivate them as well.

Today, many households are revolutionizing family life by reevaluating their priorities and discovering a less acquisitive way of life. Family, home, nature and a simpler life are what matter in their happy and fulfilling lives. We are all different and we must remember that what inspires one person may despair another!

Let’s look at ways to support the men in your life.

– Encourage regular conversations. where you listen and resist the urge to finish his sentences, guess, or formulate your answer as he speaks. By establishing easy and regular exchanges, it becomes natural and comfortable to regularly talk about anything and everything, without letting it fester.

– Lead by example. Don’t be afraid to admit failure, uncertainty, or ask for help and ideas. By nurturing a team/family mentality, you allow others to feel good about asking for input and support as well, even when they’ve made a poor decision or been unsuccessful. Sharing and asking for help becomes positive and inclusive rather than a sign of weakness.

– Be happy if he has other allies and confidences. Don’t be jealous of others in your core circle. They may have a better perspective on what’s going on in specific areas of your life. Sure, you need to know if a situation will affect your home, but accept that you don’t need to share everything personal.

– You can find your ‘people’ in various areas of life.. Friends from school, college, university, travel, sports interests, clubs, work, and hobbies can provide valuable contributions, opinions, support, and perspectives on life. From travel, amateur theater, flower arranging, politics, encourage him to be true to himself and find his interests.

– Accept that there are many versions of success. For some it is in the decorations; the house, the car, the state and the bank balance. For others it is time in nature, family and having less stress related to work. Some manage to successfully navigate a fine line between different areas of life, but finding a true balance is often difficult.

– Are you experiencing self-imposed pressure to please others?, so that the family feels proud of him? If you’re struggling with not wanting to go into the family business, go to college, commit to a career, or pursue traditional relationship or lifestyle choices, it can be daunting for a young person, especially when compounded by your own turmoil. and need for acceptance. Respect and support his wishes.

– Be prepared to help him find a suitable confidant; a mentor, therapist, religious leader, family doctor, teacher, someone who is in tune with him. Someone sensitive and trustworthy who is able to offer the most appropriate support, without pushing too hard for “big reveals.” Or online forums and charity hotlines can offer more anonymous options for sharing, advice, or just listening.

– Encourage him to make room and time for the things he enjoys and is good at. You may feel that you cannot make significant changes in your life, that you are stuck with certain obligations for now. The buildup of frustration can sometimes be managed by introducing positive outlets, where you feel empowered and appreciated. Sport, volunteering, creative hobbies can sometimes fill the void and remind you of your skills, talents and abilities. And they are much healthier options than being lonely, alone or taking refuge in alcohol.

Men are under pressure in many areas of life, especially right now. Uncertainty about future opportunities for education, work, or travel, as well as pressure to achieve status, earning power, or become physically fit, are all areas of potential stress. Providing support through being present, sensitive, and aware are ways the man in his life can feel accepted for who he is and gain trust.