If the narcissistic emotional abuser you are in relationship with has not yet made plans with you for the next Valentine’s Day and in years past has left you feeling worthless and unimportant, then this year, “Why not do something different?”

Instead of wondering and hoping it will show you a little love and knot your stomach, go out and buy something with money that you would have otherwise spent on it and treat yourself.

Over months or years, how many disappointments have you experienced from the narcissistic emotional abuser who falls short when it comes time to show him how important you are to him? However, you would never think of treating him the way he treats you.

Why do you keep having the same behaviors expecting a different result? Have you ever heard the saying that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result?

Your choice to show yourself a little love this Valentine’s Day can be a time to celebrate. You don’t need to be tainted with a negative attitude. That you treat yourself has nothing to do with the narcissistic emotional abuser at all.

You are simply making the decision to celebrate this special day of love differently. In advance, without worrying about disappointment, you can expect to wake up with wonderful plans for the day that will make you feel on top of the world.

If by chance lightning strikes the narcissistic emotional abuser with whom you are in relationship and surprises you with a gift, simply express your sincere thanks.

If he makes a comment that you haven’t given him a gift, you can kindly and respectfully share that based on previous Valentine’s Days and that you didn’t receive anything in the past, you thought he wasn’t interested in giving gifts. Thinking that he was not interested in celebrating Valentine’s Day or any other holiday by sharing gifts, he decided to change the way he does things.

This small but huge change is the beginning of your empowerment within this type of relationship. You are stepping out of the victim role by showing yourself that you have options.

You can choose to continue doing what you have been doing in the past, which was spending money on someone who did not belong to you. Or you can choose to buy yourself something.

Valentine’s Day is coming – spend your money on yourself, not the narcissistic emotional abuser!