Parents are God’s chosen vehicles to bring life into this world. However, all parents have the potential to become child molesters. In a world that has lost its soul and suffers from ‘humanism poverty’, it is not surprising that the incidence of child abuse is increasing, despite only a fraction of cases being reported.

Child abuse is the ongoing maltreatment of a child by a parent or caregiver, resulting in physical, mental, emotional, or psychological harm to the victim. Statistics show that around three million cases are reported annually around the world, most of them being abused by their own parents. In the USA, 2,450 cases are reported daily, of which four are fatal.

Different forms of abuse:

o Physical, which involves beating, burning, or starving the child.

o Verbal, when a child is continually insulted, scolded, yelled at, or ridiculed.

o Emotional, by not providing the love, security and attention that the child craves, or by starvation or neglect of their needs.

o Sexual, by incest, sodomy, oral and other abnormal sexual activities.

The perpetrators in most cases are one or more parents. It can happen in any home, rich or poor, educated or illiterate, in towns or cities. Family members, neighbors, friends, or strangers can also abuse children.

Potential triggers for abuse:

o Poverty and the immediate needs of a large family can drive a person to despair. It finds expression in physical or verbal abuse. Harassed mothers have been known to kill their children and then commit suicide.

o Hormonal fluctuations in the premenstrual, postnatal, or perimenopausal years cause unpredictable mood swings in women, sometimes leading to child abuse.

o Drunk or drug addicted parents are easily provoked.

o Abnormal babies or those with disabilities are subject to abuse by both parents and the general public.

o Sexual abuse within the home is a worrying reality. The infamous case of Josef Fritzl, who imprisoned her daughter for years and sexually abused her, is still fresh in our minds.

Reasons why parents mistreat their children:

– Immaturity, unwanted pregnancies and solitary motherhood.

– Lack of parenting skills and ignorance about the needs of a developing child and inability to cope.

– Judge children by adult standards.

– Mothers overloaded with home, husband, family and children to take care of.

– Financial problems, illness, insecurity.

– Conflict between parents.

– Bad childhood experiences.

Abuse is a vicious cycle. What the person lives in childhood is replicated in his family. In a survey of fellow prisoners, 37% of women and 14% of men said they were abused as children.

Methods of various forms of abuse:

Physical abuse can lead to bruises, head injuries, broken bones. Sometimes there may be no outward signs and parents may not even recognize internal bleeding.

– Poisoning is a well-known form of abuse. Harried nannies and mothers sedate cranky babies with opium or other drugs. Too much salt in food can cause drowsiness or even seizures, which the caregiver may not know how to manage.

– Suffocating with a pillow or covering a child’s mouth with a cloth, or putting a plastic bag over their head, are ways to reassure a child.

– Corporal punishment at school, even if it is against the law, tonsuring the head, blackening the face, are methods used by teachers.

– Mutilation of children for begging purposes, by kidnappers. This is big business and it is run by syndicates in India or gypsy mafia in Europe. Children are also sold to Arabs for camel racing or to pimps for prostitution.

– Child labor is another form of abuse. Children have to work long hours in sweatshops, factories, hotels or construction sites.

Emotional abuse can be subtle and difficult to detect. It can take the form of insults, continuous verbal insults, repeated criticism, threats to abandon the child in a boarding house. Some children starve or lock themselves in the house when their parents go out. However, in 60% of cases, signs of neglect can be detected. Certain general characteristics should arouse suspicion.

The child may be dirty, neglected, and malnourished. He may be irritable and uncomfortable in company. He may have trouble communicating with others. He might also be slow to learn, stutter, or even refuse to speak. Parents do not stimulate their potential for cognition.

The effects are tragic. There is nothing as sad as parental rejection. The child has a poor self-image and lacks self-esteem. He may withdraw into himself or have a hard time trusting or loving people.

Sometimes, in a last ditch effort to get help, he will show signs of “touch hunger,” a desire to be held and cuddled. He craves physical contact. But this longing can also make you a likely candidate for sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse has become a major problem throughout the world. It encompasses a wide range of activities, from rape to indecent gestures and exhibitions, touching, showing pornographic films and literature, or masturbating in the presence of the child. In some cultures, stroking a child’s genitals is not wrong. In slums where there is overcrowding, sexual privacy and concealment of the body are not respected. As a result, children become sexually aware at an early age.

Sexual abuse is seriously occupying the minds of psychiatrists, pediatricians, sociologists, and even the law. Delinquency, mood disorders, criminal tendencies, psychosis, school dropouts, all relate to childhood sexual abuse.

Intrafamily abuse (parents, siblings, cousins, uncles) reaches 45% of all cases. Incest occurs even in the highest social strata and is often a closely guarded secret. When the wife is an invalid, the man seeks pleasure with her daughter, since he cannot jeopardize her reputation by going to a prostitute. The wife covertly nods, as she doesn’t want to lose her husband. The victim is in a dilemma. She loves her father, but she knows that what he is doing is wrong. Her guilt can lead to delusions, hallucinations, lies or lesbianism, prostitution, alcohol or drug addiction in adulthood.

Time to act:

Society must take responsibility for the safety of children. You have three obligations.

1. Be aware of the various forms of child abuse.

2. Report any suspicious cases to the police, child protective services, or child welfare organizations. Doctors, pediatricians, neighbors or friends should not hesitate to take appropriate action.

3. Help abused victims or their troubled parents in any way you can, either by providing helpful information or resources.

Parents need to provide a safe home where there is love, discipline, and proper guidance. Children need a moral scaffolding on which to build their lives. Discipline should be through the example of parents.

Spending quality time and communicating freely with children will create a close relationship with them. They will bring their problems home and advice and guidance. Parents need to be involved in their children’s lives.

Parents who have abusive tendencies should seek the advice of counselors and make use of the many support services available. Both the child and the parents may need prolonged counseling until the child feels protected and the parents have healed of her misbehavior.

Cruelty leaves a mark on brain chemistry. Continued abuse can cause permanent changes. This can turn them into violent and antisocial individuals in the future.

The chemical vasopressin increases aggression and serotonin suppresses it.

When children become withdrawn or have nightmares, bedwetting, or sudden adult behavior, immediate investigation should be carried out and the cause removed.

Child abuse affects everyone. It is a societal burden, and the responsibility to help both the abusive parent and the abusive child break the vicious cycle must rest with society.