Sometimes I hear from wives who are extremely confused by their husband’s actions since he left them. They often expect him to be happy or show a sense of relief, since he was the one who set this all in motion. But sometimes, the opposite happens. Sometimes it becomes quite obvious that he is not happy at all. In fact, it can seem downright miserable at times.
I heard from a wife who said, “My husband was the one who decided to leave. I never wanted any kind of separation or breakup. He is the one who took the initiative to leave because he thought I was not happy within our marriage. But now it’s only been two weeks.” ever since he left and every time I see him or talk to him he seems absolutely miserable his whole demeanor is down I try to ask him what’s wrong but he won’t give me a straight answer why would he be miserable when this is what he himself chose and seemed to want?” I will try to answer these questions in the following article.
Examples of some of the many reasons why you may seem miserable after leaving your wives: Of course, every man is an individual so his reasons may vary. But here are examples of common reasons why he might be sad, confused, or miserable.
His experience is not how he imagined it: Men often leave because they think taking a break will give them some relief from their situation. However, they think that the time to think will provide them with all these amazing ideas. They expect to have a sudden clarity or discover that they intensely like or dislike being alone. But sometimes, things just don’t go the way they hoped. Sometimes the clarity just isn’t there or the rest isn’t what they expected and they get frustrated by this.
Sometimes, they miss you more than they thought: Many men leave out of anger or at least frustration. So, they hope that leaving you will give them some relief. What they sometimes don’t count on is that the relief they expected doesn’t come because they miss you. Suddenly, they realize that they are unhappy without you and that perhaps the only way to be happy is to roll up their sleeves and get to work. Most of the time, they just didn’t anticipate this reaction.
They realize that they are no closer to the answer they were looking for: I know this might be hard for you to believe, but a lot of men actually don’t like the idea of leaving. It is often the last resort because they see no other way. So they hope that by taking the very drastic action of leaving, they will come up with some kind of response that will improve their situation. This hope could be that they discover that they like to live alone. Or maybe this could be that being apart from you has offered them some clarity. Or maybe they expect you to fall at their feet begging them to come home while promising abrupt change. Whatever they hope to achieve, it is not unusual for reality to fall short of their expectations.
He may be striking a pose for you to ask him to come home: Understandably, many wives are less than pleased when their husband leaves. They are often so mad at him that they are thinking of leaving if that is how he wants to act (especially at first). Because of this, he may be reluctant to tell you that he made a serious mistake. and he wants to go home. So he will try to fix it so that you feel sorry for him and take the initiative to ask him to come home. One way for him to try to do this is to put his misery on display and hope to get a reaction from you.
How should you act when he is the one who left but now he is acting miserably?: Well, this depends on whether you really want me to come home or not. If you don’t care if he comes home, then you don’t have to react a certain way. But, if you want to save your marriage, you might want to show some empathy. He could try the strategy where she announces that she is sorry that he is unhappy because she loves him and wants the two of them to be happy together. You could also ask him what he thinks would make him happier in this situation, and then listen very carefully to what he has to say. Because if he is really miserable, it is very likely that he will try to lighten his own load and that he will try to help him find solutions because he does not want to remain unhappy.
And while it’s unfortunate that he’s miserable, this could be just the boost he needs to get his marriage back on track. This way, you can turn the negative into a positive so that the awkwardness you’re both feeling right now is finally worth it.