One of the first things you should consider after reconnecting with your ex boyfriend is how far you would like to take things. Chances are she’s not just looking for a “friend,” even if she does present herself that way. If you were the one who initiated the contact, you may be trying to win your boyfriend back. Dating your ex can be comfortable and exciting, but you’ll need to be careful to avoid the same traps you fell into when you first broke up. But if it was your ex who initiated the contact, they could be looking to repair your relationship…or maybe something a little less significant and more temporary.

Always understand that your ex boyfriend could be contacting you solely for sexual reasons. After being apart for a while, the physical needs of both of you will reach their peak. They might even be weak and easily prone to falling into bed together. If this is the case, please make sure that you agree to this beforehand. Sleeping with your ex isn’t so bad if no one gets hurt. But spending the night with your ex boyfriend and waiting for something else to come out… that could be painful. You will have to talk to him first to see where he stands. In that kind of situation, it might be better to wait.

When it comes to getting your ex back, the fact that you’re talking again is a very good sign. If your ex had moved on with his life, chances are he wouldn’t deal with you as much. He might get a friendly email here or there, or maybe a “How are you?” text message. However, phone calls are much more significant. When your ex finally calls you, you should handle it with confidence. Keeping it short will prevent you from diving into things too quickly – a common mistake many girls make when trying to get back together with an ex.

Let your ex know that you’re happy to hear from him, but temper the fact that you’re busy and can’t stay on the phone for long. This will intrigue him as to what exactly you’re doing and why you’re “ignoring him” instead of talking to him for a longer period of time. A prolonged phone call could actually hurt your chances here, as it gives your ex boyfriend a chance to grope you and see what you’re up to. Once you have this information, it could be gone for another month or two. But by keeping most things a mystery, he won’t know where he stands or, more importantly, where he stands with regard to moving forward.

The fact is that even though he was the one who broke up, your ex doesn’t want you to move on until he does. Hence, your happy little inquisitive friendship. Take away the friendship part, and all you have is your ex sticking his neck out to find out what you’re up to. This is good, because it gives you an advantage. Don’t let him get away being his innocent friend. Don’t tell him that you’re not doing “anything” and that you’re not dating anyone. Don’t lie, but don’t answer him either. Your goal is to get your ex interested again. If he is talking to you, it means that your ex boyfriend misses you. He can even say this, and that’s fantastic. But that’s not something you need to answer right away, at least not over the phone.

Talking to your ex on a constant basis will inevitably lead to seeing each other again. This kind of meeting will be a reunion date of sorts, and you’ll need to handle it with the same cool, level-headedness that you used to get closer to reconnecting. Fixing a breakup is a long road, and there are many twists and turns that can cause you to get lost. If you stay true to yourself and keep the end goal in sight, you will eventually push the right buttons that will bring your ex back to you.