“Everything changes when you change.”

jim rohn

Creating a written plan for accomplishing a major task or dealing with a massive life change is a prerequisite for maximizing success. All the pros tell us the same thing: get it down on paper so you can record progress and make adjustments when necessary. Doing our grievance work is no different.

And how do we achieve the objectives? The answer is to develop new habits that help us deal with change. Habits are an extremely important part of every life. They govern so many things we do every day. Repetitive behaviors become habits.

Now that we cry, the development of new habits is essential to face the future. Having a written plan makes it easy to create habits. The lists of what it takes for new behaviors and thoughts will provide a concrete path to follow each day. Here are several lists to consider.

1. The “to do” list. This may be the most common list recommended by anyone who wants to help us organize our thoughts and achieve some of the essentials for dealing with complaints. It is especially important when we are in mourning as our sadness also brings with it great confusion. It’s easy to forget things that need to be done. Prepare it the night before for the next day. Use a calendar to list appointments and other meetings that are several days away.

2. The Balance List. Balancing the stress of grief with self-care is a fundamental coping response. Make a list of activities you have enjoyed in the past and those you still do. Whenever you find something you’ve enjoyed for a while, add it to your list. Then be sure to participate in one of their nice balance activities every day. Activities in which you are alone or with others count, as long as they give you a sense of liberation and peace. Loneliness does you good in low doses.

3. The Gratitude List. This is where you start to examine everything you have accomplished and everything you surpass each day. Emphasizing being grateful for things taken for granted can have a powerful impact in bringing reassurance to our search for meaning after a great loss. If you want peace of mind, start a daily gratitude list and realize that you’ve made progress.

At the end of each day, review what has happened and what you want to acknowledge as “I’m glad it happened.” Put it on the list and add it every day. Continue to think in terms of the attitude of gratitude as a coping response and something you can use for the rest of your life. As time goes by and this list grows, use it to remind yourself of all your successes.

4. The gift list. There is a universal coping strategy that has been shown time and time again to lead you out of deep pain and into the next rich chapter of life. It is simply learning to be a kinder and more generous person even during grief. He never ceases to enrich the mourner and help him through the most difficult moments. The key is to develop a “generous self-image,” seeing yourself as the good person you were created to be, regardless of his or her past experiences.

There are always others who need something that you have the ability to give. Think carefully about your gift list: a smile, a thank you, a shirt or blouse, a sympathetic ear (even while crying), an “I love you”, a special photo, an open door, a dessert, a heartfelt message. fulfilled, and so on.

5. The Memory List. Loving memories and the kindness they represent are constant grieving tools always ready to be remembered and bathed in. Start listing the memories of your loved one that you want to make permanent in their mental life. They can be old or recent memories depending on how they make you feel. Also, list new loving memories since the death of your beloved. What was said? Where did it happen? Get all the details down on paper so you can instantly recall them and share their powerful energy.

If time allows, review the loving memories of your life and add them to your list. Go back to your childhood and your happy and eventful memories to start the process.

6. The forgiveness list. Forgiveness is an extremely powerful healing strategy. Because? Because without it, all your ability to love and be kind is compromised. At the top of this list should be you, specifically all the things you haven’t forgiven yourself for doing or not doing, including the ones you’ve labeled as failures. Write down each one of them and every morning look at the list and what you will forgive yourself today. I cannot stress enough how important it is to forgive yourself and prevent limiting beliefs from stressing you out. Get rid of these emotional scars. You’re a good person.

Next on the list should be the people you hold a grudge against and have not forgiven. They could be people who said the wrong thing at the wrong time, didn’t help you when you needed it, or hurt you at different stages of life. Get rid of all these burdens by forgiving. Sit quietly, look at each person in their thoughts and say the words: “I forgive.”

7. The shopping list. “Wait,” you say. “Why do I need to make a shopping list?” Simply because the vast majority of mourners, due to the stress of the loss, regress from consuming quality food and beverages. Many increase their intake of caffeine and mood foods and decrease essential nutritional elements. The result is dehydration, eventual illness, loss of energy, and increased isolation.

Be sure to put two things on every shopping list: spring water and some form of protein. Both are crucial for good brain function. A handful of protein (not a huge serving) is essential for each of the three meals, especially breakfast. Fruits and green vegetables are essential. Drink some water as soon as you get to the kitchen in the morning before eating.

In short, the very act of writing is a helpful coping response. Add and check off items on your lists as you manage them. You can use a single notebook to keep all your lists or put them on separate sheets of paper. Refer to them daily, starting with your “to do” list. If you feel overwhelmed by writing too much, start with the two or three lists that you feel are most important to your well-being or have deep personal meaning. Then gradually expand to other areas of interest over the coming days and weeks.