Personal detachment is the closest thing we have to a universal remedy for wrong and unhealthy thoughts and feelings. The common misunderstanding about this concept is that it is some kind of gimmick or contrived device, when in fact it is the main way to live in a positive reality.

This is the basic situation: a person has negative thoughts or feelings that he does not like, unless, of course, he likes them. Wallowing in despair or self-pity may be a conscious and acceptable way of life for him. It may make you feel good in some perverse, masochistic way. He may be addicted to it. Caught in it.

Let’s assume that’s not you and let’s go back to the basic premise that you don’t like your negative thoughts and feelings and want to control or get rid of them. What is your job? The simplistic answer is simply to stop thinking such thoughts and feel such feelings. Easy to say, but how do you do it?

The best way is to have the presence of mind to catch negativity at the very moment it starts. That is the point at which you can simply dismiss the thought at will.

However, if you indulge in or entertain the thought for more than a few seconds, it becomes more and more embedded in your subconscious mind and is much more difficult to dismiss. You have made it apart from you, apart from your makeup.

Okay, so you’re not yet so adept at the level of mindfulness that you can stop thoughts on arrival. So, we’ll go to Plan B. In this most common scenario, you all too often experience negative thoughts, feelings, and outcomes. What is your job?

The way you deal with anything unwanted or unproductive now is to simply distance yourself from it. Get rid of it. Introduce him and withdraw as close to the same time as you can. Again, before it can rot or germinate.

There is a mythical rule of thumb for food hygiene in the hospitality industry: if a cook or server drops food on the floor and picks it up in five seconds, it can still be served to the customer because it has not been contaminated by bacteria in that time. moment. time frame.

The same with thought or feeling. Release it before it contaminates you. — And don’t allow blame or accept blame for such a random thought. They are part of the human DNA. They will come no matter what. All you have to do is not act or be tempted by them. This is the definition of self control.

The term “respectable” in this context means that you are respecting the distinction between the thought and the thought-controlling witness. Respecting that thought and feeling are not what you really are, but are below what you really are. All your job is just to keep that relationship right.