So now that our beautiful regular season has been in the books for a while, it’s definitely time to take a look at the season that was. This season was far from normal in any shape, form. The following are the awards that I see appropriate. We’ll start with the cliche.

MVP: To be honest, when I sat down to correct this piece, I was playing Randy Moss. To me, he was the reason Tom Brady was so ridiculously awesome. Then I did some research and found some really scary stats: Let’s say we need to remove ALL of Moss’s stats. I mean all of his nearly 1,500 receiving yards and 23 touchdowns and pretend they never existed and no one else made up for those yards. In this world I just mentioned, Brady would STILL be in the top 9 QBs in touchdowns and top 10 in passing yards. That’s about the scariest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. With that being the case, there’s no way he can make a valid MVP case for someone other than Tom Brady.

Biggest Trash Bag of the Year Award: Now this was definitely tough. So many options, so little time. Who am I kidding? There is one and only one option for this prize, if you want to call it that: The one. The only. Darth Hoodie himself.

Belichick: “Wow. It’s such an honor to win this award. I’d like to thank so many people. First of all, all the teams that allowed me to suck and get up the score when I already had a 90-0 lead. .O , and all the referees who helped pave the way to perfection. Eric Mangini for ratting me out. I thought we were guys. That’s it.”

Rookie of the Year: Short and Sweet. Adrian Peterson. Next!

Player of the Year out of nowhere: It was hard to decide, because there were 2 players that I felt really deserved this award. However, I had to go with my boy, Ryan Grant. We’re going to throw some stats at you: 986 rushing yards and 8 touchdowns. Not that impressive, right? Wrong. He did it in 10 games. Grant wasn’t the team’s starter until Week 8. Do a little deductive reasoning and you could put his season totals at around 1600 rushing yards and 13-14 touchdowns if he had been a starter all season. I can’t wait to see this kid play a full season next year.

Fantasy Stud of the Year: You’d probably be the #1 or #2 seed in the playoffs if you had this guy: none other than Golden Boy himself again, Tom Brady. Back to his terrifying stats: Brady scored a fantasy 390 points this season. The second best player? 307. That’s a big difference when you look at the rest of the leaders and notice that their differences are about 5 points between them. Rating 83 points.

(you only have one picture of him. You don’t need two)

Fantasy Surprise of the Year: As consolation for not winning the Out of Nowhere award, Derek Anderson is a no-brainer for Fantasy Surprise of the Year. When he had that ridiculous game against Cincinnati a long time ago, no one in his right mind thought he was going to perform at a high level all season. Well, I guess he writes one down for people who aren’t in his right mind. With the exception of the last few weeks (when I needed him most…damn you Anderson) Anderson was a fantasy stud.

Thus concludes another wonderful NFL regular season. We still have a few games to play and some New England Patriots Super Bowl championships to win.