Conflict is a very natural phenomenon in most human relationships. Conflict management ability is an extremely valuable possession when it comes to having excellent interpersonal skills. And indeed it is something that can be learned and mastered. This article discusses various conflict handling styles, when to use each, and how to use it. Each style has its merits and each suits a different situation. If you are currently experiencing some type of conflict in your work/family/social relationships, here you will find a method that can be used effectively in your particular case. It will also act as a guide in any future conflict situations you may come across.
 
There are 5 main conflict resolution styles, each suited to a different scenario. Some of you may be used to efficiently using only one of these styles for all of your conflict situations, which means that you are not getting optimal results in all situations. Once you have mastered which style suits which situation and how you can apply it, it will greatly benefit your relationships. Read the descriptions of all the styles before coming to a conclusion about which one best suits your situation.
 
The 5 conflict resolution styles are Compete, Adapt, Avoid, Collaborate, and Compromise.
 
The competitive style
 
This is a conflict resolution style that is constantly used by aggressive people. Although aggressive, this style is the only way to go in certain situations. Let’s first examine what this style entails, before going into the details of how and when to use it.
 
This style resolves a conflict by standing your ground, without giving in to the demands of the other people involved in the conflict. Assume that the situation is zero sum where one has to lose for the other to win. Here, the party relentlessly pushes its agenda until it gets its way.
 
This is the style to fall back on in the following situations: (a) when someone is too intimidating, stubborn, or aggressive and no other tactic has a chance of working with them, or (b) when you are absolutely certain that the other party has unfair or unethical demands, or (c) when giving in to the other party’s demands could cause serious harm.

Now how do we do this? The WRONG way would be to be too aggressive. You really don’t have to be aggressive or even raise your voice for this to work. You just have to be steady as a mountain and simply refuse to take “no” for an answer. You can safely ignore empty threats and stand your ground even when the other party threatens and/or tries to manipulate you. Learn to be competitive while keeping your composure and you truly will have pocketed a wonderful asset for life.
 
the accommodating style
 
This is a style where you decide that your needs are not important and you sacrifice yourself for the other person. If this is your conflict resolution style regardless of the situation you find yourself in, you need to learn to be more assertive. You are not helping anyone, including yourself, by constantly denying your own rights.
 
However, there are situations where this is the correct way to deal with conflicts. Let’s review them. You can use this style when (a) you have been proven wrong, or (b) the other party’s needs are more pressing and critical than your own, or (c) when getting your way is not as important as preserving the continuous harmony.
 
The WRONG way to use this style is to let the other person have what they want and then make them feel guilty for making you sacrifice your pleasures, or resent the sacrifice even though you did. The correct way to do it would be to assess the situation objectively, decide if this style is the only logical way to go, and then do it in good spirits, if you know that you would resent this sacrifice or that the end results are not worth it, then this style is not the right one for you. If the problem seems to warrant this style, then use it gracefully, that way you can boost your self-esteem and earn the respect and maybe even gratitude of the other party involved.
 
The avoidance style
 
This is the only conflict management style known to many people. They imagine that the conflict will go away on its own if you pretend it doesn’t exist. They expect things to always work themselves out, but sadly that’s not the case in most real-life situations.
 
Still, it’s worth avoiding certain conflicts at least for now, for optimal results. Let’s examine what they are. They include situations where (a) you need to think about the problem before you can come up with a definitive solution, so you want to avoid taking immediate countermeasures, or (b) where the problem is temporary or one-time, and you really has nothing to gain by trying to address it, or (c) when it is an issue that could be resolved later, at a more appropriate time, or (d) when the issue is too trivial, or (e) when the other party he’s just trying to get on his nerves and taking that bait could lead to more problems.
 
The collaborative style
 
This is a mature way of dealing with real conflict situations that need to be resolved amicably. Emotional mastery and a mature approach are needed.
 
Situations that warrant the use of this style include times (a) when you are working as a team and issues need to be addressed satisfactorily for best productivity, or (b) when you feel that you and the other party do not understand each other. Yes. completely, or (c) when the situation is emotionally charged and you want to restore peace and harmony, or (d) when the problem is really important.
 
Now, how do you collaborate? This is an important skill and requires some patience and practice. But the rewards are really great once you get the hang of it! The first and foremost thing you need to do is listen to the other side’s point of view. Now anyone can claim that he knows everything about the other party’s position, but no one really knows until he asks the person and understands her position.
 
As a first step, take the initiative and tell the other person something like, “It sounds like we have a difference of opinion here. We need to understand each other before we can proceed to work it out, so why don’t you go?” tell me your point of view first?” This sets the stage for an adult conversation, and the other person will be more open to resolving the conflict. You’ll also gain their trust if you agree to hear their side first, rather than trying to prove a point. .
 
Now listen to what the other person has to say. If they refuse to communicate, respect their need for space and ask politely when you might come back to discuss it. Once they start telling their part, you need to listen. This is the most difficult phase as it would be full of counterarguments and reasons why yours is not a valid point. Save that for now and listen. As you listen to them, you should occasionally paraphrase their point of view so you can both get on the same page faster. That is, once they’ve made a point, politely tell them what you’ve understood from their words and whether it’s okay to ask. This really helps build trust and also help you see where they’re coming from.
 
Once you’ve heard their side of the story, you can share yours. Directly stating “Now I’ll tell you my point of view” can put the other person on the defensive. So you could present her position by first agreeing with any of the valid points they made, no matter how trivial, and then delicately open your case. “I see where you’re coming from, and I agree with you on that. However, regarding something I think you should know. You see and therefore I am.”
 
Now, he seeks to find a middle ground. Have a clear idea of ​​what you are willing to compromise on and what you absolutely cannot. Give and take an inch or two, and your middle ground proposal should be accepted, resulting in a win-win situation. Some people get defensive when they feel like you’re running the show and figuring everything out yourself, so make sure you involve them and make them feel involved. You would find it easier to achieve collaborative conflict resolution this way.
 
the compromising style
 
Here you are willing to give up some of your needs (less than compete) and satisfy the rest of your needs (more than accommodate).
 
This is another style of conflict resolution that can be used effectively in situations (a) when both parties are willing to give and take a little, or (b) when a temporary solution is necessary, or (c) when things that you are giving up are not as important as achieving a solution, or (d) when the situation is too trivial to be competitive and yet too important to be accommodating.

Here, you come to a compromise by finding a middle ground acceptable to both parties. “I’m going to the ball game with you today, and tomorrow you should take me shopping” is a good example of this. This can go a long way toward having lasting relationships.
 
Mediation
 
When things get too complicated for the parties involved to find a solution, it is always advisable to get a mediator who has more experience and impartiality. Oftentimes, a third party can spot underlying issues that might be missed if the parties try to resolve the issues with each other. If all else fails, this is the ideal way to go and will save you a lot of headaches.
 
By effectively using the correct conflict management style, we can always ensure harmony and fairness in our interpersonal associations. Putting in the effort to manage this skill is a lifetime asset that could prove invaluable to you.