Have you recently heard your girlfriend mumble these three words?

‘I need space’ or worse yet, the dreaded ‘I do not love you anymore’. It may seem like the end of the world, right? And for some reason, our natural instincts tell us to do the exact opposite.

“Let’s talk about it.”

“Why don’t I come later?”

“Just give me five minutes.”

The only thing worse than letting one of the above sentences slip is appearing, unexpectedly, out of nowhere. For some reason, men seem to think that when a girl needs space, that means surprising her after work or when she gets off the train on her way home, usually armed with flowers and a four-page love letter (front and back). back).

Unfortunately, as good as your intentions are, all of this drives her further and further apart.

To make matters worse, this rather ‘too nice’ approach is often quickly followed by bitterness and anger, and before you know it, you’ve given up all hope.

If you haven’t made these mistakes yet, then;

HAVING!

BREATHE!

If you want to get your ex girlfriend back, the first thing you have to do when you hear these words, ‘I need space’ or ‘I don’t love you anymore’, is listen. And by listening, I don’t mean listening to the words and taking action, but rather listening to them, taking them in, letting them sink in, and accepting what they really mean.

The reality is simple, and it is by no means the end of the world, or indeed the relationship. In many ways, it is nothing more than a test, and it can often come to a point in a relationship where things are close to progressing to the next stage.

When men have problems, usually in life, you tend to put your head down, get on with things, and hope the problems go away. Women, however, are much better at acting on emotions, and so sometimes once men step back, you might understand that maybe space isn’t such a bad thing after all. .

Space tends to be a woman’s way of asserting exactly how she feels. Men can be much more possessive by nature, and sometimes the thought of spending time apart from your girlfriend, even when it’s clearly beneficial, can be a tough pill to swallow. However, it is often extremely healthy and also a great opportunity to demonstrate not only your love, but also your confidence, faith, strength, and ability to adapt to your partner’s needs.

Step 1 – True acceptance of reality

Now, step 1 and step 2 really do go hand in hand, and one shouldn’t exist without the other. Acceptance is great, but be prepared for your girlfriend’s vicious wrath if acceptance is the only thing. Trust me, the last thing a girl wants to hear when she asks for space is ‘ok, see you later’. It has to be backed up by Step 2, ‘Honesty’.

Step 2: What she needs to hear vs. what you want to say

As cliche as it sounds, there is no better ingredient for a healthy period of separation. After showing that you are happy to respect your girlfriend’s wishes, now is the time to dig in and honestly tell her how you feel.

But what are you saying?

It is important to be balanced and calm, and not desperate and emotional. Of course it’s okay to show some emotion, she would expect that, but she doesn’t cling to her heels as she walks out the door. As mentioned above, she must first accept her wishes. Tell her that she understands that she needs some space and that you are willing to support her. So, and this is the tricky part, you need to open up.

This is where you have to be strong. You have to be positive. Don’t talk about your love as if it has already been crushed, or if you are losing control over it. Talk about it as if he is entering a new and exciting phase. Stay calm and measured, and don’t be self-critical. She doesn’t want to know that ‘it’s okay, I can change!’ If you want your ex back, just show her that you care and that you will always respect her needs, even when it means doing something you don’t necessarily want. Show her that you love her, and not that you need her.

Step 3: Space vs. Completely Ignore It

It’s also important to be available to your girlfriend. There is a big difference between giving her space and abandoning her completely. Be prepared to be treated like a friend or completely ignored. That doesn’t mean you should ignore her back. It just means there’s a good balance between not being the needy guy who jumps up every time she calls and the guy who doesn’t answer her calls or texts… ever.

You most likely want to be the guy who answers her calls and “patiently” waits for her to miss you enough to come back. But be careful. The only way he will is if he misses you. To miss you, she needs space. Therefore, it’s best to be on the receiving end of any communication… at least initially. Don’t seem too eager to reconnect unless she gives you that signal first.

Step 4 – Don’t wallow in your own misery

In my experience, men often respond to this type of rejection by staying home and shutting out the rest of the world. I often think that men are afraid of trying to have fun without their partner. What if you suddenly stop missing her? What if it’s more fun without her? These are questions most men would rather not face, but this space is yours too.

You must give yourself the opportunity to gain a new perspective on your relationship and learn about what you really want. Do not be afraid to have some doubts, it is natural, but do not run away from them. If you start to question your relationship, then think deeply about it and what it means to you.

It is a good time to return to that course that you have always wanted, or that hobby that you have left aside. Your girl will be much more impressed if you’re doing something constructive with your time, rather than just using your freedom to rebel.

Don’t let yourself be controlled by fear.

I am well aware of how difficult this period can be for any man, but it is important not to let fear control you. Instead, allow the love you feel to give you strength. If his ex-girlfriend seems irrational during this period, accept it, don’t question it.

Remember, even though she chose to have the space, that doesn’t mean it’s not hard for her. Support her when she’s struggling and be prepared for mixed signals. The important thing is to stay strong.

If you believe in the relationship enough, then this period of time may be the best thing that can happen to you. Remember not to fear what might happen, but to stay focused on what you want to happen. It may not be an easy ride, and if you sometimes slip and text him or dial his number, don’t worry. It’s natural. Don’t be too hard on yourself, there is no perfect way to deal with this situation.

The important thing is to always return to that quiet place. Don’t let your emotions run away with you and let a mistake turn into a catastrophe. Take a deep breath and forgive yourself. Yoga, meditation, and exercise can also help with this. This is the perfect opportunity to develop your emotional balance.

Finally, don’t give up. If you really want your ex back, be prepared to play the long game. Do not wait forever, or put your life on hold, but accept that love is still there. Don’t worry about pride, or what your friends say, just trust yourself, and no matter the outcome, you’ll be fine.