I have spent much of my life searching for happiness. I’ve mostly looked for it in romantic relationships, which only ended in divorce, certainly not money or possessions, because thankfully I’m not particularly materialistic and struggled for years to change my wonderfully dysfunctional family until one day I stopped and looked at my son. Playing. It occurred to me that we are reborn every day and we are given the opportunity to start over and be a better person. This awareness, along with someone to love and embrace, is the foundation of a happy existence. I have condensed my new found perspective into the 8 steps to fulfilling and making friends with the life you really have.
1) Discipline and goal setting. Steve Pavlina is someone who has written some interesting facts about self-discipline. He is the author of more than 500 articles on personal development. He ended up in jail at age 19 for grand theft and felony and, on arriving home from jail, found that he had been expelled from school. It was in January 1991 and it was there and then he made the decision to change his life. He started college and graduated in three semesters in Computer Science and Mathematics. Then he became a successful businessman (he is the founder of Dexterity Software, a popular computer game) an entrepreneur, who now dedicates his time to his website “Steve Pavlina.com. Personal Development for Smart People”. He has a good acronym for discipline that he calls “A WHIP,” which is acceptance, willpower, hard work, and industrial perseverance. Delaying the gratification of doing the hardest things first, good time management, and perseverance are a great start to developing good self-discipline without which almost nothing will be accomplished.
In his book “A Road Less Traveled”, Dr. M. Scott Peck states: “Delaying gratification is a process of programming the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure of encountering and experiencing pain. first and get over it at once. ” . It’s the only decent way to live. “
Setting goals for yourself will bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment to your life. However, be careful to set realistic goals. Leo Babauta, the creator of the blog “Zen Habits. Net” has a philosophy regarding goal setting: “I believe that goals, especially those worth achieving, are ultimately achieved by building good habits.”
2) Order and simplify your life. Having order is essential so that one can feel in control of their own life. Start by cleaning your environment and living space and remove all the clutter. Cleanse your body and start introducing healthier patterns like a good diet and exercise that can release endorphins and this will dramatically improve your mood, this is where a good dose of self-discipline will come in handy. Simplify your lifestyle by “tidying up”. This includes time spent on things and people that just don’t enrich your life in any way. Leo Babauta states that simplicity is crucial, “I have become quite frugal and I have reduced a lot of clutter in my life. Little by little, gradually improving, but I am quite happy with the simplicity of my house and the rest.” of my life. “
3) Live in the NOW. Living in the present moment is a Buddhist concept that teaches us not to let life slip away. Dr. Phil McGraw says, “The past is over, the future hasn’t happened yet, therefore the only time we have is now.” Eckhart Tolle is the author of wonderful books entitled “The Power of Now” and “Practicing the Power of Now.” The goal is to free ourselves from the “bondage of the mind” and wake up to a different state of consciousness by quieting our thoughts and living entirely in the present. Be mindful of each and every moment, especially the time with your loved ones. Life is made up of a series of moments and good or bad all happen, so it would be a shame to waste the good ones. Savor each hour as if it were your last and you will find yourself living a much fuller life. Surrendering and letting go of material things is helpful to focus and look at the world from the inside out and truly live in the present. When faced with unpleasant tasks, it can be helpful to break up the task and do one task at a time rather than looking at the big picture, which can be overwhelming.
4) Fear less, wait more, and develop a sense of humor. “If you think feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Your wrong zones. Dr. Dyer also says that guilt and worry are useless emotions. Let’s face it, the past cannot be undone and the future has yet to happen and while planning things is certainly tricky, we don’t have as much control over the results, so instead of worrying, let’s make sure that whatever happens we will be able to. to handle it. that.
A sense of humor is essential in this life. A good laugh is, most of the time, the best therapy. Healthy laughter is a physiological, spiritual and psychological gift. Dr. Annette Gooheart PhD, author of “Laughter Therapy How to Laugh at Everything That Isn’t Really Funny in Your Life” says that laughing increases intellectual performance and information retention.
5) Love yourself and others. It sounds cliché, but being your own best friend can be challenging, especially if you have low self-esteem issues and haven’t received unconditional care as a child. You cannot change your parents or whoever did not treat you as you would like. All that is left to do now is give yourself what you have missed. The best way to practice love is by giving. From here you will develop the ability to extend love to others. The better he feels about you, the less your need for approval from other people. “Needing approval is the same as saying that your point of view of me is more important than my own opinion of myself,” says Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. Don’t be afraid to spend a little time alone and get to know who you really are and give yourself the gift of an authentic life. Steve Irwin (February 22, 1962 – September 4, 2006), the popular Australian “crocodile” man was a fine example of an authentic life lived to the fullest doing what made his heart sing.
6) Be curious and never stop learning. Bruce Duncan Perry MD PhD Medical Director, Alberta Board of Mental Health “Provincial Programs in Childhood Mental Health” states that there are three common ways adults restrict curiosity so obvious in children 1) fear 2) disapproval 3) absence. Fear and disapproval are the most obvious. Children respond to our own fears and prejudices. If we convey disapproval or fear about the insects that the child has caught, the curiosity towards this will diminish. The absence of a caring adult takes away the sense of security when a child is about to feed their curiosity. We can never be complete or complete when it comes to knowledge. Opening the mind is one of the most satisfying and satisfying habits one can develop, like spending a certain amount of time each day reading. Books can come to life and enrich our experiences.
7) Talk less, listen more. “We should all know this: that listening, not talking, is the great role and the talent, and the imaginative role. And the true listener is much more loved, magnetic than the speaker, and is more effective and learns more and does more. good. “- Brenda Ueland, author and columnist (1892-1985) of one of her essays” The Strength of the Arm of Your Sword: Selected Writings of Brenda Uelan. ” Real listening is an art and it is not as easy as it sounds. As Brenda Ueland has written, learning to live in the present moment and truly focus on the words of others takes a lot of practice. She said, “Take care of your self-assertion. And give up. Remember, it is not enough just to want to listen to people. One must really listen. Only then does the magic begin.”
8) Be grateful. “If the only prayer you say in your whole life is Thank you, it will be enough” (Meister Eckhart). Sarah Breathnack created a wonderful book called “Simple Abundance Journal Of Gratitude”. The idea is at the end of each day to list 5 things for which you are grateful. It is a life changing exercise to do this. It will help you focus on all the positive things in your life and saying thank you is one of the most powerful prayers. It will also teach you to appreciate the people in your life.
“We give of ourselves when we give gifts from the heart: love, kindness, joy, understanding, sympathy, tolerance, forgiveness.” From The Art of Giving by Wilfred A. Peterson.