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Marriage Fitness Test – A 10-Point Checkup That Measures Marital Health and Well-Being

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In my years of private practice specializing in couples therapy, I have arrived at some core truths about vital elements for marital health and the prognosis of intimate relationships based on ten critical factors. Do yourself and your spouse a great service by taking this ten-minute quiz and comparing notes.

If individually or together you average below 80% when you do the math, your marriage is limping along and needs some work! If your scores are 80% or higher, you’re already doing a lot of things right and it’s probably not an accident. Now your job is to become more aware of who is doing what to nurture the marriage, so that you can both consciously commit to keeping up the good work!

Rate your relationship on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest score:

1. Do you both have a general feeling of happiness in your relationship?

2. Do you spend quality time together regularly?

3. Do you divide the tasks of life (child care, paying bills, housework, laundry, shopping, earning a living, etc.) in a way that feels fair and impartial to both of you?

4. Do you show appreciation and respect for each other?

5. Do you feel free enough to talk openly about your wants, needs, and pains?

6. Do each of you put energy into being emotionally/sexually close?

7. Do your fights feel safe and ultimately productive?

8. Do they respect each other’s need for space (alone time, individual friendships)?

9. Do you protect each other from the unacceptable or harmful behavior of other people?

10. Do you keep agreements and promises?

Reflect and discuss your results and scores. In the areas where you scored lower, resolve to make a significant change with an action plan in the next few weeks as a good start. Retest in a month and note any improvement, then move on to another area of ​​weakness and do the same. If nothing seems to change significantly, you may want to consider professional help.

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